Jeff Rickard

     This is a time of year we review what we did and game plan for the future.  Part of that game planning is deciding if we want to join new organizations or continue in the groups we are already a part of.  There is an expense to these organizations and you have to ask yourself  “Am I really getting my monies worth?”  If the answer is no you need to decide is the organization wrong or are you not a person who knows how to network? 

     If you answered the question  that “you really are not very good in a strange crowd and making small talk that eventually ends up being self promotion is hard”, puts you in the majority.  Most people feel exactly like you, so if you can overcome that fear it puts you in the minority.  The minority that gets business from their organization. So how do you make these meetings work for you?  The best way is to choose fewer groups to join and the one’s that you do, go deep.  In other words join a committee or run for an office.  It is much easier to make conversation and appear friendly and knowledgeable in a structured committee meeting than an after hours mixer.  Also, if you are a member of a committee at least you will know those people at the mixer. 

Another suggestion is reading “The Fine Art of Small Talk” written by Debra Fine.  The following is an excerpt from her book:

During an awkward social gathering, demanding sales presentation, or a tough interview, small talk can turn a challenging situation into a success.  Small talk connects us, whether the setting is business or social.

Everyone learns the technical skills required for their jobs, but not everyone places importance on conversational skills.  The ability to talk easily with anyone is a learned skill, not a personality trait.  Acquiring it will help you develop rapport with people and leave a positive impression that lasts longer than the exchange of business cards. 

Here are a few tips business professionals can use to improve their small talk skills:

• Be first to say hello!
• Introduce yourself.
• Smile first and always shake hands when you meet someone.
• Take your time during introductions. (Remember names!)
• Maintain eye contact in any conversation.
• Get somebody to talk about why they’re attending the event.
• Show an interest in every person.
• Remember, people want to be with people who make them feel special.
• Play the conversation game, no one word answers.
• Don’t act like an FBI agent.
• Be prepared.  pre plan 3 topics you can bring up in awkward moments.
• Show an interest in your conversation partners opinion, too.
• Be prepared with exit lines.  Meet more people.
• Don’t melt from conversation.  Shake hands and say goodbye.

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